But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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