ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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