How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
