why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
