Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
