she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
