is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
