as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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