How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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