So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
