My first STD was from a foam party
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize