Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He did a backflip because drugs
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
