I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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