New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
