Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
