You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
