she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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