your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
