I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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