He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
