I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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