I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
