put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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