My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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