My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
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