i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Alive.
So much puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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