hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
