That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
