The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
