good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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