i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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