You work out of a Hotel?
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
