I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
