eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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