my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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