May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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