Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
that's an acceptable place to lick
now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
