Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize