She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
