Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize