dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
