you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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