i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
