A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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