just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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