sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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