so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
