it was like eating out sand paper
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
