My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Randomize
