So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
