It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
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I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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