I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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