What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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