I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
