I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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