Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
