I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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