YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Randomize