Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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