just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
