I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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