he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Still dying that you shit outside
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
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