her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
this hospital has no fireball
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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