I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
