i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
