I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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